I’ve put myself in a horrible funk. My day’s activities have my heart heavy and the tears flowing. But to be prepared, I don’t really have a choice. See, my grandma is about to die. It could be tomorrow. We could have her several more months. But one thing’s clear. It is coming and I need to be prepared.
Grandma has Alzhiemer’s disease and is in the latest stage. We almost lost her before Christmas, but while fading away we played a recording of her late husband playing the harmonica, something he did often while he was with us. The mere sound of that twangy bluegrass beat Papaw was known by many for lifted her from her deep sleep, raised her blood pressure and pulse and gave her back to us for the holidays. She literally woke up, asked for him and ate a mountain after days of eating nothing. It was truly a miracle that happened right before my eyes.
Her name IS Elaine and she has been the greatest influence on me. She gave me my morals. She taught me responsibility. She showed me what it meant to love and taught me to love Jesus. Without the brush of her hand on my life I can’t imagine where and who I would be. Today, the rush of all those memories are hitting me hard.
My mother’s asked I design the program for the funeral. Grandma once asked me to deliver the eulogy when she dies and my video editing training has me working all that emotion out through pictures. I’ve worked on it all day, focused on saying goodbye to someone who is not really with us, but hasn’t actually left. It has me swimming in memories, thumbing through lessons learned and appreciating just how lucky I am to have had such a wonderful woman to light my way.
The last words she clearly spoke to me, I’ll never forget–the same words she said always when she could talk. “I’m proud of you.” And she was. Alzhiemer’s is an awful disease she’s fought hard through for more than a decade. While I still have her hand to hold, grandma… I’m proud of you, too. I love you.
Watch the video, then call your grandma. When the day comes you can’t, you’ll really wish you could.
The song for this video is “Fly” by Celine Dion. Buy it on iTunes or Amazon.
I Love You.
It’s a beautiful tribute. I also lost my Grandma to Alzheimer’s, unfortunately I never knew her without it. I still miss her though. It doesn’t matter how longer you have to prepare it’s still a major blow. My thoughts are with you and your family.
Beautiful video Jeff! I wish I still had my grandmothers here to call. I learned so much from them both, but now that I’m older, I realize how much more I could have asked but didn’t.
My heart goes out to you and your family. I lost my paternal gramma to dementia. It was so hard to see her like that. And like you said, she was there to hold hands but not there mentally. I was 8 months pregnant with my son and she just kept her hand on my belly saying that “he” was going to be beautiful. (We had chosen not to find out the sex of the baby). I have thought of her everyday for the last 17 years and will continue until we meet in heaven. Hugs to you and your family Jeff. I will be praying,
Jeff, The video is beautiful and very moving, sitting here in tears. I am so sorry that this is happening in your life right now. You said for people to call their grandmothers. I can’t, both of mine are in heaven, one passed away when I was a baby, then the other one passed when I was about 8. I lost all my grandparents by the time I was 12. I wish I had a chance to have more time with them but that is nothing I can control. I am glad that you had more time with yours and my heart goes out to you and your family. You will be in my prayers.
I’ve had several members of my family die suddenly in the past 20 or so years & I’m still dealing with my younger brothers, only gone 5 months now & it still hurts. God Bless You & your family.
Jeff this is beautiful,I can see a lot of you in your grandmother.God Bless you and your family.Thinking of you from Michigan.
Jeff.. I feel for you terribly.. It was such a wonderful tribute to your loving grandma.. I had to fight back tears thinking of the memories I had with my mother. Although she didn’t have to suffer with Alzhieimer’s but she did go through a period of cancer. Nothing I can say that will help you through this trying time. All I can say is she will be in a much better place, no more pain but fond memories. One thing for sure when she does past, the love of her life will be at the golden gates to welcome here.. They will be together again.. And best of all, both will be in the presence of God.. Bless you Jeff.. You are a well respected person and friend.. And as would grandma would say to you ” Jeff I’m very proud of you “
Thanks Jeff for sharing a beautiful video with us! Both of my grandma’s have long passed, but I still miss things that were special about each one. The loss of a loved one, especially someone you look up to, is never easy no matter if it’s quick or drawn out. My heart goes out to you and your family at this emotional time. Just take comfort in knowing that loved ones that have passed before her are wait to greet her in heaven. God Bless!
So very sorry to hear what your going through at this moment in life. It’s hard. Very hard.I lost my Gammama to Alzhiemers a yr. ago this last April and before i could even begin to swallow again i lost my mama one yr.later. Two of my very best friends.People will tell you as time goes by it will get easier. Truth is youll always have that little piece of your heart missing until God reunites you two again and from the sounds of it you were very lucky to have a grammama to tell you about God.So for her know in your heart that this is his will for her and there will always be a part of her with you.As long as she’s in your heart she’s never gone.Just on the other side (Heaven) waiting and preparing for you and all who she loved.It hurts to let go here on earth and as we know it it’s called dying and leaving us.When the one we love isnt dying their leaving their earthly tent (body) to be renewed in and with Jesus and when your day comes you’ll be reunited again and that hole in your heart that missing piece they take with them will be replaced.Keep that Faith she taught you and the many memories she’s leaving you hold them close.Memories become treasures. My prayers will be with you and your family.Keep the Faith.
How beautiful Jeff. Your Gram has every right to be proud of you. Keeping you in my thoughts. Love to you my friend. Stay strong.
Jeff, you’ve made your Grandma very proud! What a beautiful tribute. May you always remember the legacy of love and values left for you! Love and prayers are with you and your family.
~Stacia
Jeff, I’m so sorry. Your tribute is beautiful. I have no doubt her pride of you overflowed. You are such a special part of our family. As I sit her now thinking of how difficult it was when Grandma W. no longer knew us, I am also remembering the many happy years we had with both her and Grandpa. Thanks for the memories. You’re all in my prayers.
What a beautiful tribute to a lovely lady. She definitely knew who to pick to do this tribute to her-GREAT JOB
Thank you all for your wonderful words and support. I didn’t plan to write this blog or edit this video, but doing grandma’s work all day, it just sort of happened. You got a peak inside my heart today. I’m a stronger person because I shared it, but most importantly because you care. Thank you and all those who’ve emailed without posting a comment. I go to bed tonight in sorrow. I wake up with power and mostly because of you. Thank you.
My heart aches for you right now. I lost my beloved grandmother almost 18 years ago and not a day goes by that I don’t think of her even if only for a brief moment. She didn’t drive so when I was in school, I drove to her house every Thursday after class to take her to the supermarket and run her errands. After graduation, she spent the winters with me at my house so that she wasn’t snow-bound alone in her house. When she fell ill, I was the one that took her to the doctor and I was the one holding her hand when the doctor’s told her that she had leukemia. I brought her to my house to care for her the last few months of her life. The morning that she died, I was right there with her telling her that it was ok to leave me, that I’d be ok. She hadn’t spoken for a few days, mainly sleeping, and she opened her eyes and said, “Always remember ‘whose’ you are. I love you more than I could ever tell you.” She closed her eyes again and died a few minutes later.
To this day, I remember her hands as odd as that may seem. I feel like as long as I can remember what her hands looked and felt like when she was holding mine, I know I’ll remain close to her forever. February 2, 1994 was the worst day of my life and the first year after her death was unbelievably painful no matter how many times I would remember the good times we had together. Your grief will be profound, but I’m sure you know that it will get easier to bear on each successive day. They never truly go away because they’ll always live in our hearts. You and your family are in my prayers.
Beautiful…
Beautiful tribute, Jeff. I didn’t realize how much Bonnie looks like Elaine did when she was young…. it’s always hard to let them go, but be thankful you had your grandparents as long as you did, as most of us were not that lucky. Keep remembering how proud of you she has ALWAYS been.
Jeff,
My condolences and sympathies to you and your family at this time. It’s never easy. I never got to know either of my grandmothers nor my maternal grandfather and I lost both parents years ago.
Your life was certainly made richer by the time you had with your grandma. Mourn not her death but celebrate her life and all the time you had with her. [[[ Hug ]]]
Dear Jeff, your video tribute to your grandma is just beautiful – you have such a special way of expressing yourself, and that and time will help you through the grief process. I’m so sorry you’re going through this – I only knew one grandmother (b. 1880) and she died at 96 when Rick, Mike and Lisa were young. I dream of her sometimes and feel as though I’ve had a visit with her. I do still miss her, and to honor her and my mother, I try to be the best Nina I can be to my grandchildren. I know you have a wonderful support system of friends and family to help you get through this. Thinking about you! Love, “Nina”