JEFF VARNER

I’ve put myself in a horrible funk. My day’s activities have my heart heavy and the tears flowing. But to be prepared, I don’t really have a choice. See, my grandma is about to die. It could be tomorrow. We could have her several more months. But one thing’s clear. It is coming and I need to be prepared.

Grandma has Alzhiemer’s disease and is in the latest stage. We almost lost her before Christmas, but while fading away we played a recording of her late husband playing the harmonica, something he did often while he was with us. The mere sound of that twangy bluegrass beat Papaw was known by many for lifted her from her deep sleep, raised her blood pressure and pulse and gave her back to us for the holidays. She literally woke up, asked for him and ate a mountain after days of eating nothing. It was truly a miracle that happened right before my eyes.

Her name IS Elaine and she has been the greatest influence on me. She gave me my morals. She taught me responsibility. She showed me what it meant to love and taught me to love Jesus. Without the brush of her hand on my life I can’t imagine where and who I would be. Today, the rush of all those memories are hitting me hard.

My mother’s asked I design the program for the funeral. Grandma once asked me to deliver the eulogy when she dies and my video editing training has me working all that emotion out through pictures. I’ve worked on it all day, focused on saying goodbye to someone who is not really with us, but hasn’t actually left. It has me swimming in memories, thumbing through lessons learned and appreciating just how lucky I am to have had such a wonderful woman to light my way.

The last words she clearly spoke to me, I’ll never forget–the same words she said always when she could talk. “I’m proud of you.” And she was. Alzhiemer’s is an awful disease she’s fought hard through for more than a decade. While I still have her hand to hold, grandma… I’m proud of you, too. I love you.

Watch the video, then call your grandma. When the day comes you can’t, you’ll really wish you could.

The song for this video is “Fly” by Celine Dion. Buy it on iTunes or Amazon.

Robin Duckworth Kueppers, population one… SAAAAALUTE!

Robin, a woman I’ve never met nor spoken to, has gone above and beyond in her support for me. She was a faithful viewer when I anchored the news in Michigan. She watched regularly she says, particularly enjoying my co-hosting duties on “Live with Regis and Kelly.” I’ve had great support from viewers over the years. Usually when an anchor moves to another market the viewers adjust to the replacement and move on as well. I am humbled to experience so many of mine following me and without hesitation, letting me know they do. With this post, I hug and kiss them all by saluting one, Miss Robin.

She posted on my facebook page an effort to employ me, and that’s always a good thing. Now, I’m assuming she gets that I’m NOT Betty White, nor will I ever have that kind of star power. But it didn’t stop her from creating a campaign to get me back in the chair next to Kelly. While she wants you to “like” it, I’m just amazed a stranger would do something so supportive.

I’m pre coffee, so I’m certain this post makes no sense. But if a point is to be culled from this non-caffeinated rambling it is to salute Robin and her crew for believing in me enough to go there. I have an agent who says he’s hard at work putting my butt back in that seat, if only for a day. But while I wait to hear back from him, I salute and honor Robin for humbling me. The whole world deserves supporters like her. I’m fortunate enough to have already had my audition and equally lucky it was as strong as everyone tells me it was. If my agent’s effort isn’t able to get me back, who knows… maybe Robin’s will.

Starting off 2012 with a website. I haven’t had my own site in years. I have no idea what will eventually be here. I’m sure I’ll come up with something. I have plans for this new year. As they take shape or opportunities and happenings present themselves, it’s likely I’ll talk about it here. Thanks for stopping by. I wish I had more to serve you.

In the meantime, enjoy my first sunrise of 2012. I woke up long enough to take the photo. I’m touched by how the new year began practically without a ripple. Eckhart Tolle says, “It is the stillness that will save and transform the world.” I’ll take this image as a sign of a good year to come.